Hogwarts Plus Christa = Trouble


Catalina: Oooh, Grozit. It's a crossover.

Duo: O_o

Individual. That was what Radu had been called his whole life. He never realized until he was at the Starcademy what it really meant. He had been a little different from the others in his group, but he hadn't really noticed how much. At age six, he had once asked a "what if this happened?" when the Instructor was explaining Andromedans Biology. Radu forgot the exact circumstance that he had asked about, but still remembered the Instructor's reaction.


Catalina: Explaining Andromedans Biology? It's like… possessive. But not. Maybe it's some sort of fiction…

Duo: Ri--ight. *makes exaggerated quotation gestures* "Different."

Her face, usually cheery, turned pinched, and her smile left extremely suddenly. She narrowed her eyebrows at the child. His groupmates, too, stared at him, as though he were a deadly disease. Radu had been confused, and the look must have shown on his face.


Cat: You know, the beginning of this REALLY isn't so bad.

Duo: ...Er, um, exactly how does one narrow their eyebrows? Like this? *tries to scrunch up his expression, pointing at his face*

Cat: You think this is bad, just wait 'til later.

"Radu," said the Instructor, a few seconds later. "Weren't you there when we were taught the significance of not bothering others and our mind with the 'what if' questions?"

Radu's face paled. "N-no. I was venting snow," he explained. He had had a cold that day, and clearly missed a very important lesson.


Duo: Venting... snow. Oka--ay. Not gonna ask.

Catalina: You'd be surprised. It's actually true. When Radu gets sick, we all go skiing on the Christa. You should try it some time!

Duo: …I'll pass.

His Instructor's face relaxed slightly. "Well, then, it's important not to ask those questions. The circumstances haven't happened and won't happen. No use even thinking about it." She paused. "Isn't that right students?" she asked, seeking backup, even if it was only little children.

The group nodded sullenly. "Yes, Ms. Uyla," the nine voices chimed.

Catalina: Like a bunch of trained monkies…

Ms. Uyla's face turned normal. "Do you understand why what you asked is so unacceptable?"

Radu didn't understand, but he knew enough to pretend otherwise. Ms. Uyla didn't appear convinced, but let the matter drop.


Duo: If her face weren't normal before, I guess we don't wanna know what it looked like, then...

Cat: You've never seen an Andromedan, have you? They can be pretty scary. I just think it's scarier that their teacher… Isn't really teaching.

Now, seven years later, Radu still realized how silly the incident was. Andromedans taught their children not to ask any more questions then needed to clarify a subject. They were highly discouraged from going to the next level, saying that it would waste precious space in their mind and would do no good. Radu had stopped asking those sorts of questions after Ms. Uyla had told him not to, but still thought them. Perhaps, Radu thought, that's what sort of made him an individual.


Cat: He always was such a nice boy…

Duo: ...Oh yeah. Asking "why" makes you the most unique person in th' world. *whines* This fic's makin' my head hurt...

Cat: Suzee has aspirin.

Duo: I don't care if your imaginary friend has Aspirin! Gimmie th' -real- stuff, damn it all. *lunges for Cat*

Cat: Not Imaginary. Inv—GAH!

But more likely it was because little things kept happening to Radu. Radu remembered when he was seven years old. He had gotten into a horrible fight with one of the nine year olds, a large boy named Gute. This was because Gute had accused Radu of stealing his extra dessert at dinner. Since Radu would never steal, he was extremely offended. Soon the argument led to a fight, which some of the other Andromedans watched, terrified. Gute was much stronger then Radu was, but Gute fell over within seconds. The odd part was that Radu had barely touched him when Gute had fallen. The Dinner Guard had heard Gute's screams and had punished them both, but, in Radu's opinion, had punished him worse. But Radu still didn't understand how he could have hurt Gute so much. A Rigellion he could have believed, but an older Andromedans? Radu still didn't understand.


Duo: And neither do we. In fact, I don't understand why I'm standin' here sufferin' through this fic. Someone? Help? Please...?

Cat: Use. Pronouns. Please. And it's 'Rigelian.' Not 'Rigellion.' Oi!

Unfortunately, small incidents like that continued at least monthly. The Instructors and Elders had kept careful note of it, they told Radu later. They were very puzzled by it, and Radu was often either made fun of, stared at, or avoided. One day a message came from the messenger. It was from the UPP, demanding a student be sent to the Starcademy to insure the Peace Process. The older citizens were in shock. Send a young student to such a different school? Why, they might as well brainwash the child of all the Andromedan ideas, while they were at it! But the UPP insisted. One of the Elders had a dream one night that Radu was chosen to go, by Yon, the Andromedan god. In the dream, a voice said that it was meant to be, and that Radu would soon understand his destiny, though they may never would.


Cat: They had enough mind to make fun of poor Radu, hm? You have to admit, though, that was a pretty convenient dream.

Duo: ...Riiiight. And I must be dreamin' this fic. *pinches his arm* ...Ow. Dammit. Not dreamin'.

So it was decided. Much to the relief of the others, within a week Radu's bags were packed and he was sent off to the Starcademy. A year later, he boarded the Christa. Strange things continued to happen, like they did with Gute. When he was under the influence of the virus, for example, he was amazed that he could knock Harlan out like he did. He was constantly taught that anger and hallucination were an Andromedan's worst enemy: if both occurred then he or she would only have half of his or her strength. Radu couldn't understand how he so fully won against Harlan. Even with his normal strength, he would just barely win, but the fact that he won so effortlessly was amazing to him. After analyzing the situation for a few months, he decided that the virus must have had some side affect that made Radu stronger, despite the fact that he had been exposed to both things which would have made Harlan easily win.

Radu remembered these things one night, laying awake in his bunk. He knew that it was only a few minutes after lights out, but it seemed much later. He suddenly felt this pull, and assumed it was just his blankets.


Cat: Because blankets pull! Careful. Here's where it starts getting worse.

Duo: *whimpers* It gets worse...?

"Why am I thinking of all of this now?" he wondered. He had been on the Christa for almost four years, and was finally fitting in. He and Harlan were finally good friends, though not as close as he and Rosie were. He was actually passing Ms. Davenport's annoying classes, and was getting along pretty well with everyone. He had even seen Elmira just ten days ago, when she escaped from her father and his torturous methods of "a quicker way of understanding her predictions". He wondered why all these confusing memories were coming back to him now.

He felt the pull again. He heard Harlan stir in his sleep.

"I must be quieter. I almost woke him," thought Radu.

Harlan woke up. He glanced over at Radu, who seemed to have a strange expression on his face.

"What's the matter?" asked Harlan, uneasily. The last time he had seen Radu look that way was when he got a telepathic message from Elmira. Then he added, as a half joke, "Is Shank trying to blow up the ship, again?"


Catalina: Timeline Contingency here. If Radu saw Elmira ten days ago, it meant that was when I was hurled into this dimension. His psychic visit with Elmira didn't happen until months later.

Duo: That didn't make any sense.

Cat: Just like this story, eh?

Radu forced a smile. "No, just thinking."

"About what?"

Radu forced a shrug. "Old memories. From when I was about five or so." He didn't mention the one from the Christa.

"Oh. Neat," said Harlan, not completely sure what to say.

"Yeah." It was a weird conversation, no one knew what to say next.

"Ouch!" said Harlan suddenly.

"What?" asked Radu.

"I felt this weird pull." Harlan shrugged. "Must have been nothing. It's gone."

Harlan was about to lie down again and go to sleep, but the look in Radu's eyes stopped him.

"What's wrong?"

"I felt the same thing about two minutes ago. Was it around your legs?"


Cat: I could actually SEE Harlan and Radu having this conversation, only NOT.

Duo: I'm feelin' a weird pull, too. It's tellin' me to get th' hell away from this fic...

Harlan nodded. "You too?"

It was Radu's turn to nod.

"Weird. Let's go ask Thelma if there was a jolt or something in the ship."

Radu followed Harlan out the bunkroom.

"Thelma," called Harlan, trying to keep his voice on the low side.

"I am here Harlan," said the android, appearing suddenly.


Cat: You'd be surprised. She really does do that.

Duo: *just...whines*

"Was there a change in course, or some area that we passed through which caused a jolt of a kind?"

Thelma scanned for a few minutes, and then said, "No."

Harlan and Radu exchanged looks. "You sure?" they asked.


Cat: GROZIT! Give me back my eyes, you BITCH!

Duo: But now Harlan's eyes can be blue, and Radu's eyes can be brown!

Cat: …


Harlan and Radu had mixed feelings. Though Thelma's crystal was cracked, they both had an idea that it was something weird they felt, some force that was telling them something.

There was suddenly a knock on their door.

"Who is it?" asked Harlan.


"Come in."

The door opened on that command and Suzee went in, wearing a yellow bathrobe over white plaid pajamas. Suzee yawned slightly, then sat on one of the Christa chairs.


Cat: Christa Chairs! In stock now at your local used spaceparts store. Each one guaranteed a genuine part of the Christa's hull!

Duo: *avidly searching about for a knife* Make it stop! Make it sto----op!

Suzee: Hey, guys! What's up?

Cat: Fanfiction hell. Convenient that you'd arrive right when you arrived in the fic. Grab a seat, we're stuck here for a while.

"Did you guys feel this weird pull a few times, around your legs?" she asked, not knowing how to put it.

They nodded, wide eyed.

"But Thelma says that the ship made no change in direction, or anything. It's still at its set course," said Harlan. Radu nodded.

"It must be something else, then," said Suzee. "Isn't it weird that only we felt it, and at almost the same time?"

Radu glanced at his clock. Barely ten minutes passed since his disturbing thoughts. It seemed that the pull did happen to everyone around then.

Radu felt it again as he turned back to his friends. He could tell they felt it too.

"I wish I knew what was going on!" said Radu frustrated.

Harlan and Suzee nodded. Suddenly, all three of them felt the pull.

"Ouch!" they said at once.


Suzee: Our Braincell!

And suddenly they were no longer on the Christa.


Cat: Yanked right through the floor and into space. Happens all the time…

Part 2

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

They tried to scream but no words came out. They were in shock. What was going on?

They drifted through space, faster then light, as though controlled by someone. They felt no loss of air, and Radu wondered how this was possible. A few minutes later, their journey ended. They were on Earth.

"All right!" cheered Harlan. But as soon as he looked around he realized that this wasn't the 23rd century. He couldn't quite figure out what period this was in. All of his schoolwork told him it was the end of the 20th century, but he couldn't remember a building called "Hogwarts" in his lessons. Dismissing it, he turned to Radu and Suzee.


Cat: Drifted through space + faster than light does not compute.

Duo: ... I wanna scream, too. Can I scream? C'mon. Lemme scream. Please?

Suzee: I bet he couldn't remember it, because it's imaginary!!

Duo: Well… There's the pot callin' the kettle black. I'm more impressed that he instantly knew this was the twentieth century, just by looking at it.

"You guys ok?"

They could only nod, still in shock over what had happened.

"S-should we go in?" asked Radu.

"I guess," Harlan and Suzee replied.

Harlan knocked on the door of the building. He was surprised when someone actually opened it, rather then having a machine do it automatically.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" said a man with a grey beard. "I know how you got here, but I know you'd like an explanation. Of course, Suzee, I know you're somewhat aware of your inheritance." Suzee frowned, trying to understand what he meant. "Radu, you might not be surprised of this either. Harlan, you'll be pleased to know that your great great great grandmother, Hermione Granger, went here. Still does, actually. The smartest in her grade. I hope you can live up to her!"

Catalina: Ah-ha! Convenient. These three just happen to be wizards! Even though Suzee's from a completely different dimension, and Radu's from Andromeda, they did, of course, have ancestors on earth.

Suzee: Of course.

Duo: All I have to say is that I'm glad Harlan is Hermione's relative, and not some Mary-Sue.

Catalina: You think Harlan'll live up to her?

Suzee: Not a chance in hell.

Harlan, Suzee, and Radu still had no idea what the man was talking about. The man laughed.


Duo: HA! A laugh at your ignorance!! Mwahahaha!

"Of course, you have no idea what this is, or why you were taken from your starship into 1999. Allow me to explain. But first come in!"

Harlan, Suzee and Radu stepped into the hallway of the large castle. Dumbledore took them to one of the kitchens and gave them yellow mugs of hot chocolate.


Catalina: *asides to Duo and Suzee* The yellow was important.

Suzee: At least it wasn't brown mugs of yellow—

Duo: Just stop.

"I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. Hogwarts is a school for witchcraft and wizardry. It's the best school, and everyone gets a fine education. You, Harlan, have very distantly related relatives that are witches and wizards. I believe you are exactly 1/8 magical.


Suzee: He tallied that on his abacus.


"You, Suzee, why your great grandparents were all wizards. Of course, the others in Yensid didn't approve of it, or of the constant dimensional travel, so they were exiled. Such a shame, really. They wouldn't harm a fly.


Suzee: You know, the weird thing is that even though we're all engineering geniuses in Yensid… We don't have a clue how to travel to other dimensions without blowing things up.

Cat: Explosions, Suzee. Lots of explosions.

Duo: It's what makes the world go 'round!

"Radu, you're the first Andromedan to be magical. Perhaps one of your ancestors had magic, but I doubt it. Your Elders monitor those things too closely. That's part of the reason you were sent to the Starcademy. And why those small things happen to you that seems unexplainable.


Cat: Radu's magical! Cool!

Suzee: *looking at a checklist* Natural abilities include extrasensory hearing, incredible strength, telepathy, precognition… What the hell did he need magic for?

Duo: Character Bastardization. Everyone is doing it!

"Well, you'll begin at Hogwarts during the next term, in a few weeks. Hagrid, our gamekeeper, will take you to buy your school supplies, and on the first day of school, you'll be sorted into your correct House. Hagrid will explain fully the entire process! I look forward to seeing you again. You'll live at Hagrid's until Hogwarts begins."


Cat: Curious—

Suzee: Curiosity killed the-

Cat: ANYWAY. I suppose since you're on the ship by this point, Suzee, we'd all be… What… I'd be at least 17, right? And that means you're eighteen. Radu's fourteen… Harlan's nineteen… Aren't you all a little too old for Hogwarts?

Duo: Sometimes rules have to be bent, or just outright shattered, to make a fic work.

Suzee, Harlan, and Radu nodded, stunned. Just when I've thought things couldn't get weirder I find out I'm a wizard thought Radu. Of course, Suzee probably had a good idea, and Harlan looked surprised, but not as amazed as Radu felt. But Radu had no idea what was about to happen to him.

Part 3

Radu woke up early the next day. He half thought that the whole thing had been a dream, that he was still on the Christa. But looking around at the hut, he realized what had happened last night was real.

Radu wondered about the others on the Christa. How would they react to three people being out of bed and nowhere to be found? Radu laughed silently. The witches and wizards would probably take care of it. Maybe stop time, or make doubles or something.


Suzee: Probably. Stop time seems like a good one.

Duo: Maybe they'll just reach through time and explode the Christa. That's what Voldemort would do.

Cat: (GASP!) You said his name!

Harlan woke up. He was half expecting it to be a dream as well, but knew before opening his eyes it wasn't. Harlan was eager to meet Hermione Granger. She, though not from a wizarding family, had done some amazing things, and invented a ton of new potions and charms. Of course, he couldn't tell Hermione this, but it would be neat being in classes with his great great great grandmother.

"Hi," said Harlan and Radu. They both laughed, a little nervously.


Suzee: I can't imagine Harlan giggling.

Cat: Scary picture.

"Can you believe this?" asked Radu. "It's so weird."


Cat: Poor Radu…

Duo: If only he knew it got weirder…

"Yeah, but maybe we can put a spell on Davenport to stop classes or something."

Radu laughed. The idea sounded tempting, though he knew it would be awhile before that happened. Before going to bed again, Hagrid had explained that the next six weeks before school started would be spent learning and studying. He said that if they passed their three years which they had missed in that time, they could go to their regular fourth year. The other profesors would teach them what they were supposed to know, hopefully spending only two weeks on each grade. They would be working much harder then they would normally, but, Radu felt, it was probably worth it.

Suzee: This doesn't add up at all! I'm friggin' EIGHTEEN years old! But I'm only going into my fourth year! Someone give me a stabbity thing!

Cat: Suzee. No killing the author.

Suzee and Hagrid woke up. Suzee rubbed her eyes, as though still unsure about the whole thing. Hagrid grinned.

"Are yeh ready teh begin yer classes today?" he asked excitedly.

They nodded. "When do they begin?" asked Suzee.

"In an hour. Yeh might want teh get dressed." Hagrid showed them the wizard clothes he got them.


Suzee: (cries) I'd SO wanted to go to class in my pajamas.

"I though today we were shopping for school stuff," said Suzee.


Cat: Yes, but the author didn't feel like writing about that. Sorry.

"Profesor Dumbledore realized that yeh needed all the studyin' yeh could git," said Hagrid. "Now come on. The profesors will be here soon."

The three woke up and got dressed in the school clothes, which were black robes. After they were dressed and had eaten breakfast that Hagrid prepared, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," called Hagrid, clearing the plates from the table.

A tall thin man with greasly shoulder length hair and a smirk came in.

"This is Profesor Snape. He teaches potions."


Duo: You notice how she spells 'professor' wrong every time?

Suzee: At least she's consistent. I'm more concerned about that 'greasly' hair of Snape's.

Cat: Yes, and his smirk! The smirk is important!

"Let's get started," said Snape, staring at his new students. Which ones will be Slytherians? he thought. Suzee may be one, but I don't know about the others.

Snape began by explaining the different kinds of plants which were used in potions, and which ones poisoned people and saved lives. When he threw a question about Unicorn blood, Suzee knew the answer immediatly.


Suzee: I am SO not a Slytherin. Come on…

Cat: Well sometimes I'd have to disagree. Sometimes you can be downright bitc—

Duo: Moving on!

An hour later, it was time for Transfiguration. Profesor Mcgonagall came in, wearing her usual stern expression and holding a long wand in her right hand. After explaining how dangerous and complicated Transfiguration was, she made them take a lot of notes. She first had them turn a needle into a match. It took Suzee only a few seconds, Radu a minute, and Harlan five minutes. Mcgonagall was very pleased. Next, she had them turn a beatle into a button. Suzee got it correct first, followed by Radu, and then Harlan. By the end of the period, they were turning paper into tableclothes. Mcgonagall told them that there would be a test the next class, since they were all doing so well.

Next it was time for Charms. Profesor Flitwick, a tiny excited man who was an excellent dueler, showed them how to move objects in the air by saying "Wingdargim Leviosa!". He then showed them how to get objects to walk across the table, and finally how to get them to dance across the table. He also promised a test the next class.

After Charms was a quick lunch, followed by Defense Against Dark Arts. Profesor Lupin taught it, and gave them some practical experience immediatly, with some pixies that he found. He explained exactly how to stop them from attacking, for short periods, and by the end of the class, he was very pleased at how they were doing.

After Defense Against Dark Arts was Flying. Madam Hooch taught them, but their lesson was short; they were all flying very well on their broomsticks immediatly. Madam Hooch taught them some interesting tricks, which they preformed well. Since there was extra time before dinner, they had a class of History of Magic. It was very boring, the only one taught by a ghost, Professor Binns. He briefly went through the major events, while Suzee, Harlan, and Radu all copied them down quickly.


Cat: You realize we've been quiet for three whole paragraphs?

Duo: I'm just trying to figure out how all the professors are taking time out of their day to come to Hagrid's hut and teach them magic. It doesn't make any sense.

Suzee: But look at how smart I am!

Cat: That's just because the author hates you.

Suzee: !!!

Duo: She's right, you know. Just watch.

By the end of the day, the three Witches and Wizards were exhausted but happy of how they were doing. As Radu went through his notes to prepare for the tests, he thought that he was finally going to fit in.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

Six weeks later, Radu, Suzee, and Harlan waited in line with the other first years, waiting to be Sorted. They had passed their first, second, and third year in six weeks, but still needed to know which House they would be in. Dumbledore had explained in the letter that was sent to all the students, about the new students from the other planets.


Suzee: *blinks* Okay. Harlan's from Earth. Radu's from another galaxy. I'm from another dimension.

Cat: You all still lived on planets, right?

Suzee: It's not that! It's just that they're taking this so… calmly. It's like… "Hey! Aliens! Been there. Seen that."

Duo: Sh! You're being sorted! I wanna see!

After the welcoming speech, Dumbledore got the hat out. It sang the song about the different Houses, and each first year waited, hearts beating quickly. Although Harlan's name came in the beginning of the alphabet, Dumbledore explained that they would all be Sorted last. So the three waited impatienty while the others were Sorted.

Finally it was their turn. Harlan went first. He was put in Gryffinder. Radu was after him.


Duo: Griffinder.

Suzee: Griffin-der.

Cat: Griffin-DER!

"Hmm," said the small voice. "Definite bravery, I can see that. You're quiet and tolerent though, which may be good Hufflepuff qualities." The hat paused, then added, "No, I think you'd do better in Gryffinder." He said the last word aloud, and Radu went to the Gryffinder table. Harlan grinned at his friend, and Radu smiled back.


Suzee: How sweet.

Cat: At least she spelled 'Hufflepuff' right…

Duo: Tee-hee. Griffinder. Griffinder. Griffinder!

Suzee was the last. She walked to the hat with confidence, and put it on. Within seconds, the hat announced "Slytherian!" and Suzee, smiling smugly, went over to the Slytherian table. Snape was smiling somewhat meanly at her, and Malfoy, Crabb, and Goyle grinned at her. She smiled back, equally mean.


Suzee: ……..So being in Slytherin automatically makes me a bitch?

Cat: You already were a—

Duo: Hey! Don't worry. Look at the spelling; it's 'Slytherian.' They made new houses just for you, Radu, and Harlan! Isn't that sweet?

Suzee: Griffinder and Slytherian… Griffinder. Griffin-DER. Hee…

Cat: Duo! We're losing Suzee!

Duo: *THWAP!*

Suzee: (holding her head) …Thanks, Duo. Thought I was a goner…

Radu was a little surprised at this behavior, but not shocked. Suzee was always full of herself, and Hagrid had said nasty things about Slytherian, though he did say that not all that people that went there came out bad. The other tables seemed to have all nice people, though. Radu pushed this thought out of his head, and began to eat the Narf Intestines that magically appeared on his plate. The feast had begun, marking the first of their four memorable years at Hogwarts.


Suzee/Duo/Cat: O.O;;

Duo: I thought the food was made by the house elves down in the kitchen!

Cat: Where did they get Andromedan food?

Suzee: O.o;;

Over a month had passed since the Sorting. A lot had changed since Radu and Harlan were Sorted into Gryffindor, the House of the brave and daring, and Suzee was Sorted into Slytherian, the House of the Serpent with all the horrible wizards. From what Radu had seen of the Slytherians, they seemed nasty and enjoyed picking on someone. Neville Longbottom, a fourth year Gryffinder, was an easy target for them, since he was often too scared to stand up for himself.


Duo: So is it Griffinder, Gryffindor, or Gryffinder?

Suzee: Oh, SURE. And I'm just a horrible Wizard.

Cat: At least the author is sure of what house you're in, right?

Suzee was quickly becoming what Radu secretly thought of as a True Slytherian. She was dating Draco Malfoy, a mean fourth year whose family was rolling in gold. He had two stupid friends, Crabbe and Goyle. His hobbies focused mainly on insulting people. His two favorite targets were Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Harry and Ron were best friends.


Cat: Cradle robber!!

Suzee: It's not my fault!

Duo: Tell it to the judge!

Harry was extremely famous because when he was one he survived a curse set on him by the Dark Wizard Lord Voldemort, whose name many wizards and witches still refused to speak. A normal child would be killed by a curse by a Dark Wizard, but Harry somehow survived. His parents died, though, and he now lived with his horrible muggle aunt, uncle, and fat cousin Dudley. He only lived there in the summer, but that was more then enough time for Harry, or any witch or wizard. Ron's dad is full wizard, but his mom was a muggle born wizard. That meant that Harry's a over half wizard, but not pure blood, like Draco Malfoy.


Suzee: The whole end of that paragraph made no sense. I thought Ron's family were all pure-bloods.

Cat: They are. I think she flipped back to talking about Harry.

Duo: Train of thought derailed. Common occurrence; don't worry.

Ron's pure blood, but came from a very poor family. He has five brothers and one sister, Ginny. His whole family did well at Hogwarts, including him. Unfortunately, since he's second youngest, he's often overlooked. Ron's dad works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, which has to do with bewitching things that are muggle made, in case they wind up in a muggle home. Ron's dad adores muggles, however, and buys all kinds of muggle things, and enchants them. An example of this is making a muggle car fly. Ron's dad continuously says that muggles are smarter then witches and wizards give them credit for, since they found so many ways to live without magic. Unfortunately, Malfoy enjoys teasing Ron about his muggle loving dad and how poor they are.


Suzee: She keeps changing tenses. My head hurts. ;_; Make it stop!

Fortunately, Slytherians and Gryffindors didn't have many classes together, except Potions. Professor Snape teaches Potions, and favors Slytherians to the extreme. He also enjoyed saying how "dumb" Neville was, to other teachers in front of Neville. Snape also hated Harry for a lot of reasons.

Radu thought about his life at Hogwarts. In a week, they would have their first Quidditch match against the Slytherians. Radu was the new Keeper, and a good one too. During practice, he hadn't missed a single ball that was aimed toward the goal posts. Harry was the Seeker, and an incredible one too. With the games that Harry played in, Gryffindor had only lost once, and that was because of the Dementors which had almost knocked Harry out. Still, even with that game, Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup that year. The team thought that they would win it again this year as well, especially with Harry as the new captain.


Cat: No offense to Radu, but he'd be too nice to bee a keeper. He wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, you know…

Duo: *looking through his HP books collection* Wait. This is fourth year, right? They didn't even PLAY Quidditch this year.

Suzee: Canon forgotten for the sake of fanfiction. I'm appalled.

Radu remembered all of this while eating breakfast. He had become good friends with Ron, Harry, and Hermione, and was sitting between Ron and Hermione at the moment. Harlan had made some friends too, and was sitting across from them. They were talking about the upcoming Quidditch match. Harlan, still new to the game, hadn't tried out for the team, but was still interested in the game. Ron and Hermione weren't on the team either, but they had gone to all of Harry's matches.

Suzee was the Keeper on the Slytherian team, and the rumor was that she was amazing. Ron and Hermione told Radu that she was almost as good as he was, but not quite as good. Radu was glad that they were both Keepers, and that he wouldn't have to steal the Snitch or the Quaffle from her. At the moment, the five were talking about possible strategies for Gryffindor. Harry wasn't sure if he had pushed the team hard enough, and the first match of the season, against Slytherin, was in seven days.


Cat: Harry's the captain now? I think I'm confused.

Suzee/Duo: Join the club.

Suzee: No one even noticed that Slytherin was spelled right!

Duo: Don't get your hopes up. The author probably just made a typo.

"Well," pointed out Radu, "at least the team got better broomsticks." Some of them had really old ones: cleansweep five's, comet two sixty's, etc. Harry got a Firebolt for Christmas last year, but most of the team had pretty poor ones. Fortunately, during the summer the team was able to raise money by having a few bake sales and getting jobs and auctioning off the old brooms. Their new brooms weren't Firebolts, but they were Nimbus Two Thousand and One's, the kind the Slytherians had. With those and Harry's Firebolt, they would be more than evenly matched.

"That's true," agreed Harry, looking more cheerful. Before he could say anything else, Draco Malfoy, with Suzee on his right next to Crabbe and Goyle on his left, walked up to them.


Suzee: I'm on his right, next to Crabbe and Goyle on his left. So I stretch all the way around the earth, in other words.

"Well, well, if it isn't the ever so famous Harry Potter, his friend Ron with no money, and Harlan."


Cat: And Hermione.

Duo: And Radu.

Suzee: And I think I need to vomit. Be right back.

Ron took out his wand, but Harry stopped him. "Not in front of teachers," Radu heard him mutter. Ron nodded, but glared furiously at Malfoy.


Duo: Why is my mind in the gutter?

"And look, it's hairboy Radu. He's the first Andromedan ever to be magical. Therefore, he must be the worst. No mudblood like you would ever do well."


Suzee: Aaaand it's Malfoy on the recap, passing to Harlan, who runs down the field and--

Radu counted to ten in his head. Seeing that he was going to get no response out of Radu, Malfoy glared at him and left.

"Ugh, time for Potions," said Ron, groaning. They got up and went to the Dungeon.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

"You're late," snapped Snape as they took their seats.

"Sorry, Professor, we were-" began Ron.

"I don't want your feeble excuses, Weasley. Take your seat, and twenty-five points from Gryffinder, since five of you were late."


Suzee: Finally. A scene I'm NOT in. x_x

Duo: GryffinDER.

They sat down, annoyed that he wouldn't let them explain. Professor McGonagall had seen them and needed to talk to them about their Quidditch match. They were getting a new referee.


Duo: Madame Hooch got drunk and they found her in a gutter. She'll… No longer be with us. I'm sorry. In her place, we'll have Madame Boozenbeer.

"Now," continued Snape. "I trust you all did your assignment. Very well, pass them in now, and take out some parchment and a quill. We're going to have a pop quiz."


Cat: Hmm… I like this one!

Suzee: You chose Coke! The soda that brings you ancestors back from the dead!

Duo: Five points to GriffinDER!

The students all groaned. "Five points from Gryffindor!" snapped Snape. "And be grateful it's not more.

"The first question," he continued, "is how many infusions of wormwood equal antecite?"

He waited a few minutes and then continued.

"How many tails of a unicorn are needed for a sleeping potion?


Duo: Whole unicorn tails? O.O;

Suzee: Yeah. We don't make the sleeping potions much. Pisses the unicorns off.

"How many lacewings are needed in a polyjuice potion?"

Snape continued, all the way up to, "Question number twenty, how much Getoezor is needed to revive someone of hair loss?"

He waited a minute and then said, "Pass your papers in, hurry up."

Once all the papers were collected, Snape said, "While you're working on your wart potions, I'll mark your tests." He put them into groups of two, Slytherians with Slytherians and Gryffindors with Gryffindors. "We don't want Gryffindors like Neville Longbottom to be messing up the Slytherian work," he snarled.

Harlan and Radu were put together, and so were Harry and Hermione, and Ron and Neville. After a half hour of trying to make a wart potion, Snape put their tests on their seats.

"Don't get them yet," he snarled. "We'll see how everyone did on their potion first."

He went over to Harlan and Radu's. "Acceptable. This would work correctly," Snape said, trying not to say anything nice about a Gryffindor's work.

He went on to Hermione's and Harry's. "Too yellowish," he sneered.

He continued to Ron and Neville's. "Barely passable."

He continued on to everyone's, making rude remarks about Gryffindor's, and wonderful remarks about Slytherians.

"All right, here's the homework. For some reason, the Slytherians did extremely poorly on the test, and the Gryffindors did.......all right. Class dismissed."

Radu looked at his test, and to his surprise he got a 98%. Snape took off two points because "he didn't indent enough". Rolling his eyes, Radu went out the door.

"How did you do?" asked Harlan.

Radu showed him the 98.

"How'd you do?" asked Radu.

Harlan shrugged. "Pretty good. 95." Radu could tell that he seemed a little annoyed that Radu outscored him, even if it was only by a few points.


Suzee: Actually, that might very well be the best section of the fic.

Cat: And it still makes me shiver.

Duo: Hey! Hey! Lookit, guys, we get a break!

Suzee: Run for it!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

"Transfiguration next," said Hermione a few minutes later. "Hurry up, we mustn't be late."

They walked to Transfiguration. They were pleased to hear Professor McGonagall say that they were ready to begin working with turning furniture into animals. She told them that they were to turn their desks into rabbits and back.


Duo: Hide th' couches! The in-laws're comin'!

Suzee: Aren't the desks rather large?

Cat: Those are gonna be some big-ass rabbits.

After fifteen minutes of trying, only Hermione and Radu were able to make any difference in their desks. Professor McGonagall smiled at Hermione and Radu. It was clear that she had come to expect Hermione to be the first at the new lesson, but she was pleasantly surprised by Radu. After all, he had only learned two months ago that he was magical.


Suzee: Why would she be surprised? I mean, he learned three years of magic in two weeks.

Cat: Andromedans have a natural fear of rabbits.

Duo: It's th' ears.

"Ten points to Gryffindor for each of you," said Professor McGonagall. She explained how the desk had become more rounded and furry, gradually forming ears the other parts. She told them to try again, and perhaps it had been too early after all.

Cat: (As Radu, raising her hand.) But Professor! I'm in GriffinDER!

Twenty minutes later, only Harry and Ron made any difference. Professor McGonagall had sighed, gave five points to Harry and Ron, and assigned the rest of the class to review their textbooks.

Radu decided he better avoid Harlan for a little. After all, Harlan was more magical then Radu, and they were both new to Hogwarts. Yet Harlan had been unable to perform the spell, and Radu did it in a few minutes. I better not cause any trouble, he thought.


Suzee: Alright. Author likes Radu more than Harlan. Hates me.

Duo: Call it a hunch, but if Radu's better at magic than Harlan, doesn' that make him more magical?

Their next class was Herbology. Professor Sprout announced cheerfully that they would be clipping Arthigues.

"Who can tell me what Arthigues are used for?" she asked.


Suzee: What the hell's an Arthigue?

Hermione's and Harlan's hands both went in the air.


Duo: Who can tell me how to catch detachable hands!?

Cat: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!

"Harlan," said Professor Sprout, wanting to give her new student a chance at earning points.

"Arthigues," began Harlan, somewhat smugly, "are used for relieving the pain when someone has broken a bone."

Suzee: And it's a good thing the author knows that, too! Because I'm about to break every bone in her body. >_<

Duo: Violence is not th' answer.

Cat: No. It's the panacea.

"Exactly! Ten points to Gryffindor. Now, how often to they need clipping?"

"Every five weeks," said Harlan.

"Incorrect!" Professor Sprout looked around the greenhouse. "Anyone? Yes, Radu."

"Every full Earth moon," said Radu.

"Correct! Ten points to Gryffindor!"

Radu tried not to look at Harlan, who he could tell was trying not to throw his Arthigue clippers at him.

Professor Sprout explained exactly how to clip an Arthigue, explaining that some branches were like weeds, while others didn't need to be clipped at all. Everyone, except possibly Harlan, paid careful attention.

Suzee: He's trying to best Radu, yet he doesn't pay attention.

Cat: Considering it's Harlan, it makes sense.

"All right, please work on the Arthigues. I'll be checking to see how you're doing," Professor Sprout said once she was finished with her demonstration.

Radu worked next to Ron and Hermione, careful to clip away the dead branches which stuck out, and to only trim the ones which were straight. This was extremely important.

"No, be careful, Band! I said only the branches that stuck out sideways or diagonally, not the ones which were straight!" Shaking her head in dismay, Professor Sprout left Harlan to try to fix his damaged Arthigue.


Duo: Pass th' damn superglue over here…

"Excellent work, Hermione! Everyone, look at Hermione's Arthigue." Once the others had joined Hermione, Professor Sprout launched into an explanation of how perfectly Hermione had clipped hers. "Excellent, Hermione! Take fifteen points to Gryffindor!"

She stopped next to Radu's. "Very good. Ten points to Gryffindor!"


Suzee: If we're keeping score, she's already handed out like, a bazillion points to Gryffindor/DER. If this keeps up…

Cat: Don't worry. Snape takes 'em all away, remember?

Harlan was in a very bad mood toward Radu by the end of class. They had lunch next, so Radu, sensing Harlan about to explode, tried not to sit near him to give him time to calm down.

"What do we have next?" asked Ron, also noticing Harlan's bad mood.

"Harry, Ron, Radu, and I have Care of Magical Creatures. Harlan, you have Divination."

Harry and Ron exchanged glances. Care of Magical Creatures was taught by Hagrid. Hagrid, however, had been dangerously sick for the first month of school, and Professor McGonagall had willingly agreed to teach the class. Professor McGonagall was a good teacher, but Hagrid was coming back today. Harry and Ron remembered last year's first class: Hagrid had given them biting books and Malfoy, who hadn't been paying attention in class, had been seriously bitten by one of the Hippogriffs Hagrid had brought to class. For the rest of the year, they had been taking care of Flobberworms, which were extremely boring, but at least not very dangerous. Radu, after hearing this story the first day of classes after the Sorting, wondered what Hagrid would have them do this year in Care of Magical Creatures.

Suzee: With any luck, introduce them to Bad-Fanfic-Eating dragons… Or something.

Duo: I don' think we'd be that lucky.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

"Hi everyone!" said Hagrid, beaming at his students, some from last year and some new. "Welcome to Care of Magical Creatures. As a lot of yeh know, I was very sick at the beginnin' of the year, so Professor McGonagall agreed to teach the lesson. Now, today we're goin' to be studyin' spiders."

Harry and Ron exchanged worried glances. Surely Hagrid couldn't mean......

"Now, be careful, because they're flesh eating. I warned them not to bite or eat yeh up, but......well, anyway, here they are." Harry and Ron's worst fears were confirmed. "Now, I'm going to put them on the table, and I want yeh all to pay close attention on how teh feed them."

"Feed them?!" yelped Draco Malfoy. "I'm feeding no flesh eating spiders." Crabbe, Goyle, and Suzee all glared menacingly at Hagrid, who paled but looked determined.

"Well, it's that's the way you feel, Draco, then yeh can get Detention. And ten points from Slytherian. Yeh're choice."

Turning back to the class, he picked up one spider from the bucket.

"This here is Aragog. Aragog is real old, yeh see. He's over fifty, but he's still got some more time left here. I got Aragog when I was at Hogwarts. This are all Aragog's family.


Duo: Last I checked, Aragog was a really huge spider. Like, a fifty-foot high spider.

Suzee: This is the world of magic! Anything can fit in a bucket!

Cat: By the way, Suzee, welcome back to the story.

Suzee: Don't remind me.

"Well, anyway. Yeh pick up a beetle, and you hold it exactly five inches from the spider's mouth. It's enough so they won't bite yeh fingers off, but they can still get the food. I'll show yeh."

He put Aragog on the center of the table in his hut, and dangled the dead beetle five inches from Aragog's sharp teeth. Aragog jumped a few inches, and Hagrid dropped it into Aragog's mouth.


Cat: Along with his hand. And his arm, and his neck.

"Like that, yeh see?" Hagrid said, beaming. "OK, who wants teh go firs'?"

"I will, Hagrid," said Suzee, confidently.


Suzee: *smacks her forehead*

"OK, good, Suzee. Here's yeh beetle, right. Now just like I did, good, excellent!" Hagrid shouted joyfully as Suzee dropped the beetle into the spider's mouth. "Anyone else? Draco Malfoy?"

Draco smirked. "My father would rather I get a Detention then my hand ripped off, again, thank you very much."


Duo: Heh, Suzee. Your boyfriend's not dumb, after all!

Suzee: He is NOT my boyfriend!

Cat: (muttering) Craaaaaaadlerobber…

Hagrid paled again, remembering Buckbeak's near execution, then said, "If that's how yeh want it, Draco."

Hagrid soon set them to work, putting spiders in front of each person, as well as five beetles apiece. Crabbe and Goyle reluctantly agreed to feed the spider. Draco stubbornly refused.

By the end of class, there were no arms ripped off, though Draco was going on and on about how his father would see to it that Hagrid would be fired for giving him a Detention for not letting a flesh eating spider rip off his arm. Suzee, Crabbe, and Goyle were all giving Hagrid evil stares, and saying what an oaf he was. Then Radu heard his name in their conversation.

"Yeah, he's almost as big an oaf as Radu," said Suzee. Then, imitating Hagrid, she added, "Dum' a' 'im, 'oo."


Suzee: …

Cat: I thought you and Radu were like, really close friends.

Suzee: We are. But I was sorted into Slytherin. Or, Slytherian. Or whatever… That makes me a bitch, remember?

Cat: …

Duo: …Again, movin' on.

The others laughed.

"You went to school with him on the spaceship, didn't you?" said Crabbe. "What was he like?"

"He liked me, I could tell. But he was too stupid for me. So was Harlan."


Suzee: …

Duo: Y'said that last time.

Suzee: It's times like these I just wish I was still invisible. -_-

It took all of Radu's self control not to go up to Suzee and punch her and knock her to the ground. Radu saw that Hermione, Ron, and Harry all heard what Suzee said.

"They're idiots, all of them," said Harry, glaring at them.

"Once Suzee got put in Slytherian, I knew she was no good," admitted Radu.


Cat: Hee.

Suzee: Oh, shut up!

"Slytherians are all rotten," agreed Hermione. "And if either of them goes on about Hagrid or you again, I'll take my wand and turn them into ants. Then do the full body bind on them!"

Ron and Harry nodded vigorously, and Radu grinned.

"Sounds good to me!" said Ron and Radu.

Hermione took out her schedule. "I have Arithmancy next, but you both are finished classes for today. I'll meet you in the common room after my class, all right?"


Duo: Radu lacks th' ability to check 'is own schedule, I see.

All three nodded, and began to walk to the common room to begin their homework. They had a lot, especially from Snape. Aside from writing up the ingredients in their wart potion, they also had to study for a test he was giving them in a week, do all twenty questions at the end of the chapter, write up a lab report of a potion they would be making next week, and write an essay about "why rat juice is needed in potions". Although they only had Potions once a week, Snape usually gave Gryffindors more work then most teachers would in a month.


Cat: …Rat juice??

Suzee: AKA blood.

Radu opened his Potions book, and began to write up the ingredients for the warts lab. He concentrated so hard that he barely noticed when Harlan came into the common room. He was just finished writing up the twentieth question when....

"Hey!" shouted Harlan.

Radu jumped slightly, and then said, "Hi, Harlan. You scared me."

Harlan grinned. "Did you finish all the homework?" he asked.

Radu shook his head. "Just the lab and the questions. I still need to write the essay and study for the test. And there's my other subjects too."

Radu glanced at Harlan. He seemed to be in a better mood, but still. Radu didn't want to make him annoyed. He and Harlan were friends, but Radu still knew enough to stay out of the way when Harlan was angry.

"I did my Transfiguration. It was hard, wasn't it? Turn a desk into a rat and write about how it happened."


Duo: Thought it was a rabbit.

Cat: McGonagall got hungry.

"I didn't start it yet," said Radu. "I need to get back to my work, ok, Harlan?"

"Oh. Ok, sure."

Relieved, Radu began to write the essay. He had just written a few paragraphs when Hermione came in. Since she just had her favorite class, Arithmancy, she appeared in a good mood.

"Hi Radu!" she said cheerfully.

"Hi," said Radu, finishing up the paragraph. He would probably be able to finish the essay in a day or so. It was easier than he had expected it to be. "How was your class?"

"It was amazing! We learned all about how to use charts to locate the positions of..."

Hermione was interrupted by a sound of snoring. Looking around, she saw it was Ron. Her mouth went thin, almost exactly like Professor McGonagall's.

"How would you know it's boring? You've never taken it," said Hermione, annoyed.


Cat: Did he even SAY anything?

Suzee: Whoa! She's a mind-reader!

"I don't need to. I hear enough about it from you talking endlessly about it," replied Ron, rolling his eyes and grinning.

Hermione glared at Ron and then turned back to Radu. "It's really very interesting. You ought to sign up for it next year."

"Well, maybe," said Radu. He thought that Arithmancy sounded too boring and complicated, but he didn't want to tell Hermione that.

Hermione nodded. "Need any help studying for the Potions test?" she asked.

Cat: (As Radu): Nah. I've already proven myself smarter than you on several occasions. I'm doin' fine.

"Well, I have other homework, but could you test me on Potions after I'm finished it?"

"Sure," agreed Hermione.

An owl suddenly flew in from the door. It was Radu's owl, Icicle. Icicle was a dark brown owl, about the same size as Hedwig, Harry's owl. Radu took the letter from Icicle, and Icicle hooted a little and flew back to the owlery.


Suzee: Dark. Brown. Owl. Named. Icicle.

Cat: Maybe ice on Andromeda is brown….?

All: …Eeeew…

Radu opened the letter and paled. Inside was a compu pad from the Christa. He couldn't believe what it said.


Duo: Dude! They fit a computer INSIDE the envelope!

Suzee: Dude, The letter came from the Christa! Two hundred years into the future!

Cat: And through the vacuum of space. That is one amazing owl.

"What is it, Radu?" asked Hermione.

"It's from me. The other one, I mean." Hermione nodded. Radu, Suzee, and Harlan had doubles made of them to stay on the Christa. When they got back on the Christa, in four years, after they finished at Hogwarts, they would walk through their double, making the two of them be one. The double was supposed to send an owl if anything happened. Of course, there were no owls on the Christa, but Icicle and Hedwig would know if they needed to fly into space. It was all very complicated.

Duo: That's so complicated… It just… Might… Work!

Suzee: That's so retarded I can't believe someone THOUGHT of it!

Cat: That's so unintelligible I can't even understand it!

"Well, what about you?" asked Hermione. "Is there anything wrong on your ship?"

Radu nodded, barely trusting himself to speak. "We ran into Shank again. He aimed at the Christa, and, well, no harm was done to the ship. But the bomb, or whatever he used, it went right through the ship, and onto Ms. Davenport. She didn't move quick enough."

"And then?" asked Harry, forgetting his Potions homework in the heat of the conversation.

"Ms. Davenport got severely hurt. They're not sure if she'll survive. She's in a coma."


Cat: Heehee. Miss Davenport go BOOM!

Suzee: Cat!

Part 5

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

Hermione dropped her Arithmancy book on Ron's foot.


Cat: On purpose.

Duo: Prolly.

"Ouch!" shouted Ron, picking up the huge textbook. Hermione didn't hear him.


Suzee: She'd turned her ears into cabbages.

"Your teacher's in a coma?" she whispered.


Cat: Shh. She might hear you and wake up…

Radu nodded. "But she might survive. There's equal chances either way."

Just then, Harlan came in the room.

"What's wrong?"

Radu handed Icicle's compu pad to Harlan. Harlan read it.

"Oh well," he shrugged. "Who cares?"

"Who cares?! Harlan, she's our teacher!"

"My point exactly. As long as she stays in the coma, we won't have classes."


Cat: Grozit. >_< You're lightyears from her anyway!! That is so heartless

Suzee: And out-of-character.

Duo: More o' that Character Bastardization.

"We're at Hogwarts!"

"So? When we rejoin with our doubles, we'll have less to remember."


Cat: That's low, even for Harlan.

"Harlan, how could you say such a terrible thing?" said Hermione. "This is Ms. Davenport they're talking about!"

"You don't know what she's like," replied Harlan coolly. "You haven't met her."

"Honestly, Harlan, from what I hear, she doesn't sound half as bad as Snape."

"That's because she's not half as bad, she's ten times worse," Radu heard Harlan mutter.


Suzee: Uhn… Okay, I don't exactly get along with her all the time, but she's not one EIGHTH as bad as Snape.

Duo: Don't make me go tell 'im yer dissin' 'im

Suzee: Oh, come off it. I don't even like Slytherin. Slytherian. Whatever house I'm supposedly in.

"Hopefully she'll get better," said Ron, hopefully. "There's a half chance either way."

Radu nodded. "That's true. And we, I mean, our doubles, are doing everything we can. Also, the Christa has amazing medical systems. When the Commander got injured a year ago, he spent a few weeks in the healing chamber, and was fine."

"I just hope she's still in the coma after a few years," said Harlan. Radu glared at him, but luckily, Harlan didn't see it.

Harlan left the common room.


Duo: 'S it me, or does Harlan just randomly walk in and out of th' common room for th' hell of it?

Cat: Harlan has LEFT the Building!

Hermione made a "tsk, tsk" noise and then sighed. "Should I quiz you on the Potions now, Radu?" she finally said.


Suzee: (As Radu): I'll give you your potions! Right up your a---

Duo: Arithmancy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

Later that day, Radu sent an owl to his double, instructing him to tell him all the news, good or bad. Icicle would know to go into outer space, in the "bubble" that Professor Dumbledore had made, so that Radu could receive word from the Christa. Radu hoped that Ms. Davenport would be ok.


Cat: That still doesn't explain the time travel.

The next few days, Radu had trouble concentrating. Most of his professors understood, since they knew what had happened. Radu only had Snape once a week, so he didn't have him to worry about yet. But his teammates in Quidditch were worried that he would lose his concentration in the match. It was only four days away.

Luckily, Radu's worry didn't last long. As soon as his lessons were done, he went to the common room, and there was Icicle. She was holding a compupad in an envelope with the word "Radu" typed in green ink. Radu opened it, and read it. It was all good news. Davenport got out of the coma, and was improving slowly but steadily.


Suzee: How big is this owl, exactly, that it's able to carry a compad that's at LEAST ten pounds?

Cat: A ten pound bird cannot carry a –

Duo: It could if it was a spacefaring owl.

Suzee: Oh! That's true!

Harlan entered the common room. "Hi," he said. He noticed the compu pad. "What's that?"

Radu grinned. "Davenport's ok. She's going to be fine."

Cat: So what was the whole point in her being injured in the first place?

Duo: Fer some reason I have this mental image of a bomb just landing in her lap…

Suzee: Oh! Oh! Like in Hotshots!

Harlan looked less enthusiastic. "Oh. Great. Well, I'm going to study for the Potions test."


Duo: Then Harlan left th' room. She forgot t' add that.

Radu began his homework. He couldn't understand the change in Harlan. Harlan used to dislike Radu, but for the obvious reasons: his kind had killed Harlan's father. Harlan now was getting past that, and the two of them were actually pretty good friends. But now Harlan was turning into his old self. Harlan made Radu feel like he committed a crime if he did so much as get a higher grade on a quiz or answer a question correctly that Harlan got wrong. Radu tried to tell himself that this was because he had only recently got good grades. Harlan had always been a better student then Radu. It probably also annoyed Harlan that the first Andromedan ever to be magical was doing better at Hogwarts then a 1/8 blood. Radu decided to stay out of Harlan's way for awhile, which hopefully would work. After all, Radu didn't want to compete against Harlan, he just wanted to try his best. He hoped that eventually Harlan would see it that way as well.

Cat: Pronouns. Pronouns are important. They make it so you don't have to use the same name over and over and over again.

Suzee: I… Killed… MUFASA! Mwahahaha!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

The Quidditch match came much too quickly. Radu was surprised to wake up on Saturday and remember that the first game of the season, against Slytherin, was today. Radu hoped that they were ready. During the last few days, Harry had pushed his team extremely hard. Harry wasn't sure how they would do, and everyone, including Radu, was extremely nervous.


Suzee: She spelled Slytherin right again!

Cat: (As Harry): You know, I can't help feeling that I'm missing something…

Duo: You mean like the Tri-Wizard tournament that supposedly happened during the fourth year?

Cat: That's it!

Radu heard Harry stir in his bed, even though, with the curtains pulled around Harry's bed, Radu couldn't see him.

"Morning," called Radu to Harry.

Harry rubbed his eyes and pulled back the curtains to face his friend and Keeper. "Morning," he yawned. He sat up and went to the bathroom, carrying his Hogwarts robes. Although Gryffindors played in Scarlet robes, they changed in the locker room.

Hiding a yawn, Radu followed Harry.


Suzee: DUDE. Did I just read what I THOUGHT I read??

Cat: Yep. Radu just followed Harry into the bathroom.

It was pretty cold outside, even though it was only the beginning of October. Radu dressed quickly and went downstairs to breakfast with his team. Slytherins booed as they passed, but Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs all cheered. Radu smiled, and asked Harry if it was usually like this. Harry nodded. Even when they played against Ravenclaw last year, the Ravenclaws didn't boo when they entered. That was only the Slytherin's job.


Duo: Actually, she's consistently spelling the names of the houses right, now.

Cat: Someone must have gotten around to reading the books.

Everyone was chattering, and looking forward to the Quidditch match. It was Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, and the news about the new Keepers was on everyone's mind. Radu felt nervous, but he could tell from the looks on his teammates faces that they were also nervous. Harry had told Radu before that everyone usually felt that way before a game, since Quidditch was very popular and a great way to earn points for your house.

Suzee, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle came up to Radu and his friends.


Suzee: When I joined Slytherin, I lost all sense of self. Now I'm just one of Malfoy's entourage. Wowee, do I feel special.

"Heard you're the new Keeper," began Malfoy, smirking.

"Yeah, I am," said Radu, a little worried.

"Suzee's hard to beat, y'know. Slytherin's Stupendous Suzee, we call her."


Suzee: …

Cat: SNRK~

Duo: Stupendous Suzee! Ha, I'll have to remember th-

Suzee: You'll forget it RIGHT NOW, actually.

Duo: Yess'm.

"Really," said Harry, in a bored matter. "Well, we'll see how 'stupendous' she is soon enough. But Radu's even better. He hasn't missed a a single ball yet."

"Really. So interesting," smirked Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle glared at Radu and his friends.

"Yes, it is. Besides, we've got better brooms than you, much better."


Cat: Comes in handy when we have those wild parties up in GryffinDER house that you're not invited to.

Duo: We make Neville clean up.

Suzee: …

Malfoy and his gang glared at them, but couldn't think of anything to say, so they left.


Duo: There's a first.

Soon it was time for the Quidditch game.


Suzee: But first, a word from our sponsors.

Cat: They say run. Run away very quickly, while you still have time.

Duo: And yet we stay, cemented in our seats and horrified at what might be approaching.

Suzee: It's like a train wreck. Don't wanna stare, but you can't look away…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

Lots of people made signs for Gryffindor, like "Lions Rule" and "Rake up the Snakes!" and "Gryffindor for the Cup, again!". Harry smiled at this, but frowned when he saw the Slytherin signs. It wasn't the number of signs that bothers him: there were much more Gryffindor signs made by Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor, but what was on the signs was horrible: "Boo to Gryffindor", "Dementors take Harry", and all kinds of cruel stuff. Still, what could you expect from Slytherins?


Suzee: *scribbles on a posterboard*

Cat: What'cha doin'?

Suzee: Making a sign that says "Help."

Duo: That's not very creative.

Suzee: Neither were theirs!

Hagrid had come to watch. He was sitting next to Harlan and Ron, and Neville was sitting between Ron and Hermione.

"I hope they win, Gryffindor's the bes'." he muttered under his breath.

"Mount your brooms!" called Madam Hooch, after Harry had given the usual pep talk. She then blew her whistle.


Cat: Hey, look! Madam Hooch is back!

Duo: On parole, probably.

"Slytherins take the Quaffle, but Johnson from Gryffindor manages to get it from Adrian Pucey, Angelina passes it to Alicia Spinnet, look out there's a bludger, luckily she barely misses it, and Spinnet passes it to Katie Bell, who passes it to Johnson, who aims, and......yes she scores!!!!! Way to go Johnson!!!!!!"


Duo: Too… many… exclamation… points…!

Radu looked relieved as he moved higher in the air. Harry was looking all over for the Snitch, but it was nowhere to be seen. Radu forced himself to keep his mind on the game, not on the Snitch. That was Harry's job.

"Gryffindor Chaser Spinnet seizes the Quaffle, but Warrington gets it from her, wait, no the bludger hits him and causes him to drop the Quaffle, which Johnson picks up. New Chaser, Blaise Zabini, tries to get the Quaffle, but fails, oh no, he tries to grab Johnson's broom, that's illegal!!!!"

Madam Hooch saw this and gave Gryffindor a penalty, "which Spinnet takes, and scores, no problem, and Gryffindor's in possession, no Blaise takes the Quaffle and aims for the Gryffindor posts, block him Radu!"

Radu blocked him and got the Quaffle. He threw it joyfully to Alicia, who shouted, "Great save Radu!"

Suzee: This running commentary is making me sick.

Cat: Just the commentary?

Duo: I was sick a long time ago…

"Alicia has the Quaffle, amazing save on Radu's part, by the way, but Warrington grabs the Quaffle and hits her, penalty?" he asked Madam Hooch, who nodded. "Penalty to Gryffindor!

"Ok, Alicia takes the penalty, and shoots, scores! That's thirty to zero, to Gryffindor, and Angelina just grabbed the Quaffle. She flies with it, gaining speed, and, ouch, that must hurt! A Bludger hits Warrington in the head! She passes it to Johnson, who scores!! 40-0, to Gryffindor!"

Suddenly Radu saw a flash of gold, and Harry saw it too. Harry, Radu noticed, was miles ahead of Malfoy, and had a better broom too. While Gryffindor and Slytherin continued playing (and Malfoy didn't see the Snitch), Harry flew to the Snitch. Gryffindor just scored another goal when Harry got it.

Duo: They really are obsessed with those better brooms, aren't they?

Suzee: …Men.

"I got the Snitch!" he screamed amazed and thrilled, waving his closed hand. Radu and the other Gryffindors flew down to the ground, while the Slytherins looked very angry. Never before had they not scored a single point!

Suzee glared at her team, marched over to Radu, and punched his in the nose. The Slytherins cheered, and Professor McGonagall came over, looking as though she was ready to explode.


Suzee: Punched his what in the nose?

Cat: I couldn't see you as the punching type anyway, really. The manipulative, evil type MAYBE…

Suzee: Don't make me punch your in the nose.

Cat: My what?

"Don't you ever do that again!! Twenty points from Slytherin! I can't believe you would do that, just for your sloppy mistakes. I had expected better from you, Suzee! Your great grandparents would be furious!"


Suzee: My grandparents? Hell! I'M furious!

She told Harlan to take Radu to the hospital wing. Radu's nose was bleeding pretty badly. When he left a few minutes later, he found out the Gryffindors were having a party in the common room.

"Hi Radu!" called Hermione. "Amazing job! I don't think the Slytherins ever went a whole game without winning once!"

"Really?" Radu was surprised. From what he heard, the Slytherins never played a fair game, and if they didn't win they scored at least two goals.

"Yes, I think it's a new record."

Harry came up to Radu. "You were incredible!"

"Thanks, but you were amazing too!"


Cat: I wonder if Radu's gonna follow Harry into th-

Duo: No. No. Definitely not.

Harry shrugged. "I happened to be near the Snitch, and I had a better broom than Malfoy. That's it."


Suzee: More obsession with those brooms…



Duo: Don't we all wish.

"I know what you mean. But being able to keep the Slytherins from scoring in an entire game is incredible!"

Radu smiled and shrugged.

"Hi Radu!" called Ron, running up to him. "Amazing job! I've never even heard of a game when the Slytherins haven't scored once! You really are a superb Keeper!"


Cat: ALRIGHT! We get the idea! Radu's a fabulous keeper! >_< Move on already!

Suzee: We can't move on until the author has succeeded in waving her favorite character around like a flag.

"Wood would be happy to know someone as good as you took his place, though he was also amazing," said Harry. Hermione nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin common room....

Suzee: No! No! No!! Not the Slytherin room! Go back to GriffinDER!

Duo: Why? I wanna see how much more they can totally ruin yer character.


"Excuse me if I didn't block a few goals! All the pressure was getting to me! By the way, how does my hair look?" asked Suzee, rushing to the mirror and self consiously patting it.


Suzee: …Sigh. How DOES my hair look, anyway? I think I've been tearing clumps of it out reading this.

Cat: It looks fine, Suzee.

"Suzee, honestly! Slytherins are supposed to get at least a few goals! You probably set a new record 'worst game in history'."

"Excuse me, Draco, but I don't see you anywhere getting the Snitch, now do I? And as for you, Blaise, you could have scored a goal or two!"

"Whenever I got the Quaffle, some stupid Gryffindor Chaser would get it from me!"


Duo: That would be the idea!

The argument got louder and louder, until Profesor Snape entered the common room. Silence fell at once, not because Snape was feared by Slytherins, but because he was respected and would have good ideas for revenge.


All: *…Snicker.*

"Hello, Slytherins," said Snape, as a first year Slytherin quickly stood up in the best chair to Snape could sit down. He smiled his cold smile at her.

"It's not fair, Profesor! Just because of a stupid Andromedan, we looked like fools!" exclaimed Malfoy.

"Why would you look like fools?" asked Snape in a mocking tone. "If they were so much better a team?"

Silence fell and the Slytherins waited anxiously for Snape's idea of revenge.


Duo: Vengeance is MINE! Mwahahahaha!

"I suggest you practice more, much harder. I doubt that they'll lose to Hufflepuff, but the Gryffindors might lose to Ravenclaw. If so, you must be ready. Also, I will take points off of Gryffindor as much as I can, only ten points instead of five, etc. I can't make the Gryffindors agree to a rematch so they can lose to you, but I will make their lives miserable in Potions."

"Especially Harry and Radu?" asked Suzee eagerly.


Suzee: How did I go from being best friends with Harlan and Radu to wanting to see them suffer?

Cat: There's a reason.

Suzee: Oh? Well then—

Cat: I didn't say it was a GOOD reason, but there's a reason.

Snape smiled coldly on his favorite girl student. "Especially. Inviting a member of another planet, what were they thinking?" And with this he left, and the Slytherins felt much better about their defeat.


Suzee: Wait. I'M from another planet!! >_<

Duo: That doesn't matter.

Cat: Plot hole anyone?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

"I don't know about this," said Radu as he went to the Great Hall for breakfast the next day. "The Slytherins have been giving me extremely cold looks."

"They always do," pointed out Hermione, raising her eyebrows at the Slytherin first years who were pointing and laughing at Radu. "Just because you tried your best doesn't mean you should be worried."

Radu nodded sullenly. "Still."


Duo: There's that word again.

Cat: I wish they would follow their own advice.

"Yes, I know."

They walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall in silence. It was the day after the Quidditch match, and Radu was feeling very nervous. What if the Slytherins did something horrible to him? He didn't like the way the Slytherins were pointing and laughing at him. Even Harlan noticed it, and was pretty much leaving him alone.


Suzee: Go on, Radu. Break them all in half. That'll show 'em.

Cat: I told you, he's too nice!

Duo: I think he'd make an exception for a bunch of snot-nosed kids.

"Look, it's the evil Andromadan!" The voice appeared out of nowhere, but laughter erupted from the Slytherin table.

"Look at his ears!" More laughter.

"And his nose! It's bigger then three Slytherin's noses together."

"Ew, he's coming this way!"

"Run for it!"


Duo: I wonder how much brainpower it took to come up with those insults?

"Ignore them," whispered Hermione as they stood in line for breakfast. "Besides, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors think of you as a hero."

This helped, but Radu was still furious. In Andromeda, he was used to being teased for his odd ideas and the odd things which kept happening to him. In the Starcademy, the only person who was ever nice to him was Rosie. On the Christa, people eventually accepted him, but it took awhile as well. Now at Hogwarts, he was supposed to find his destiny. The Andromedan Elders knew this when he was sent away. Oh, they didn't know that he was magical, but they did know the the Starcadmey was the first step towards fufilling his desiny. And now, even though he knew he belonged, he was still teased.


Cat: Destiny. Wow.

Suzee: No. 'Desiny.' As in, 'fufulling' his 'desiny.'

Duo: Sounds like a vaccine…

Cat: Or a dessert.

Suzee: …Or an illness.

"Maybe I should resign," he said.

"No way! Besides, that would make the Slytherins tease you even more!" exclaimed Harry. Radu knew this was true.


Duo: Mmmno. That's what they WANT you to do, actually.

"What should I do then?"

"I have an idea!" exclaimed Hermione. "But we'll need permission from the headmaster, and Madam Pomfrey."

"The nurse?"

"In case it has some ill affects. I'll be right back!"

Hermione left the Great Hall. Radu turned to Ron and Harry.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but the last time this happened, she made a huge discovery about a monster in the Chmaber of Secrets," said Ron warily.


"Really? What happened?"

"Well, her solution helped us a lot, but she got Petrified for awhile."





Cat: Because nobody knows what petrified means.

Suzee: Maybe Radu was asking about the circumstances of the petrification?

Duo: In that case, Harry's a nutbar.

Radu and Harry and Ron finished eating their breakfast and then decided to do their homework. Radu hadn't finished much of his weekend homework yet, and he had two tests, including the Potions one, to study for.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

"Radu, great news!" exclaimed Hermione, running into the Common room about a half hour later.

"What is it?" he asked, closing his Transfiguration book, glad for a break.

"I got permission to do the plan!"

"What's the plan?"

"We can turn you into a human!"


Suzee: (As Radu): Oh, HELLS, no! I am SO out of here!

Duo: How's that gonna help anyway?

Cat: Just wait. -_-

Part 7

Radu was stunned. "A human? Why would you want to make me a human?"

Hermione was a little impatient. "Do you or do you not want people to think of you as a long haired, weird ear Andromedan, especially with that annoying Suzee blabbing about how you got her into trouble?"


Cat: Humans suck.

Suzee: Yeah!

Duo: HEY!

"But I didn't! She punched me!"

"And she's a Slytherin. Look, everyone except Slytherins like you, but the Slytherins are horrible. Most of them, anyway. With the potion, you won't be human permanently, you'll just have to drink a certain amount daily and you'll look like a human for that day."


Duo: Why would they have a potion that would turn aliens into humans?

Suzee: Our ancestors lived on earth, remember?

Duo: Alright. Why would Hermione know about it?

Suzee: THAT… is a good question.

"How would that affect how I'm treated?" asked Radu.

"The potion makes everyone, except the people who you will it not to affect, think that that's how you always looked. Suzee won't be able to make fun of you."


Cat: (As Hermione): All we have to do is make sure this stupidity potion goes into the Hogwarts water supply…

"Won't that annoy her more?"

"Sure, but she won't be able to tease you for that. And you must admit, being the only Andromedan in the school has made people look at you differently. Well, Slytherins, at least."


Suzee: The author seems to forget that I'M not human, EITHER. For crying out loud, I'm as alien as they come! Look. I have GILLS for cryin' outloud! And I can JUMP INTO OTHER PEOPLES' MINDS!

Cat: Suzee! Settle!

Duo: I think she's just jealous.

Radu nodded. "All right."

Hermione smiled at him. "I'll give you it tomorrow. Madam Pomfrey agreed to make it, to 'eliminate any possible mistakes.'"


Duo: Wow. That's quick. I mean, it takes the Polyjuice Potion a month to make, and this is like, almost th' same thing!

Suzee: (singing) We don't have to follow rules!

Radu agreed.

Hermione checked her watch. "It's almost 10:30. We should go to sleep," she said, yawning.

"Hermione? What about my hearing and strength?"

"They'll be a human's, I assume. I'll ask Madam Pomfrey when I get the potion from her tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night," said Radu, walking to his dormitory. Neville, Harry, and Ron were already there. Neville was asleep, but Harry and Ron were playing wizard chess. Ron was winning, but just barely.

He said hi to them, and then got a pair of pajamas and closed the curtains to dress privately. Within minutes, he was asleep.


Suzee: Oh, NOW he's worried about privacy…

His dream was a memory of Andromeda, but much clearer than it had ever been when he remembered it. It was when he was sent to Ms. Alyu's office to hear that he would be leaving Andromeda.

"Might I see Radu386 in my office?" asked Ms. Alyu after knocking on the door. Ms. Uyla, his instructor, was teaching Radu and his groupmates about variables in their mathematics lesson.


Duo: Variables? VARIABLES?! In Andromedan math? Perish the thought!

Cat: Did anyone else notice that 'Alyu' is just 'Uyla' backwards?

Suzee: Creativity reigns here…

"What's he done now?" asked Ms. Uyla in exasperation, glaring at the eleven year old.

"It's important. He hasn't done anything wrong- this time. Please, might I speak with him?"

"Very well. Radu386, excused. Alyu, you make sure not to take your eyes off him a minute. Strange things happen around this one."

Radu's groupmates nodded solemnly, while Radu's face turned bright red. He was grateful to leave the class, though he felt an unusual anger at his teacher. She shouldn't have insulted him in front of his groupmates, especially when he had done nothing wrong this time.

"Don't dawdle, 386!" snapped Ms. Alyu, noticing him slowing down. "This is very important!"

"Yes, Ms. Alyu," said Radu, turning red again.

"That's better."

They rounded a sharp corner into Ms. Alyu's office. "Sit," she instructed. "On the green chair."


Suzee: Good boy! Good Radu!

They both took their seats.

"Let me be blunt," said Ms. Alyu after a pause. "You've heard of the Peace Process, I'm sure?"

"Yes, Ms. Alyu."

"You know what they want?"


Cat: All our base?

"Yes, Ms. Alyu." Radu's heart began beating quickly. He knew what would happen next, he felt it. Suddenly, a vase fell, narrowly missing Ms. Aylu's head.


All: …

Suzee: Bwaha!~ What the hell was that for?!

Duo: I have absolutely NO friggin' clue, but it sure was funny!

"Ahh!" she screamed, at least a scream for an Andromedan. She began picking up the glass. Radu started to help, but... "No, you'll make it worse, 386!"

When the mess was cleaned up, Ms. Aylu sat down, muttering about "individuals". She then continued to the conversation before.

"You've been chosen to go to the Starcademy. It's for your own good, as well as our sanity. We have no room for an individual, and the government insists on someone. Besides, an Elder had a dream that you'd find your destiny there. And whatever that may be, with our society on Andromeda, I doubt you'll find it. It's for your own good," she repeated, as though trying to convince herself. "You leave next week."


Duo: Some elder had a dream that Radu was a blight on their society, so they're shipping him off?

Cat: What a fun race.